I've too much self-respect to put this as my flashbox but it's funny all the same.

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=24TJM1...

State.

Darin and Sinéad are born on the same day, in the same hospital ward, within seconds of each other. They grow up living next door to each other in a suburb of Cork City, developing an impenetrably intense relationship. The two insist on being called ‘Pig’ and ‘Runt’, speak in their own idiosyncratic language and amuse themselves by terrorising the patrons of local pubs and clubs.

However, on the night of their 17th birthday, Pig and Runt’s relationship takes an unexpected turn, triggering an irreversible chain of events that seems destined to end in tragedy…

Directed by Joey Kavanagh and starring Paula Lyne and Dallan McCormick, DCU Drama is proud to present a production of Enda Walsh’s award-winning ‘Disco Pigs’. Not for the faint hearted, this high-octane, poignantly funny, electric two-hander is sure to have audience members hanging on to their seats.

The Venue, DCU. 18th-20th of March. 7:30pm

Tickets: €6 (which also covers admission to another production, 'The Woods', which promises to be almost as amazing as my show )

The Joey Awards 2007 (general section) have been unceremoniously axed because I realised there were far too many great moments during the past year to choose from.

Here are some of the brilliant things that happened last year:

Taryn's 21st - Janet in the doghouse, Taryn Fantabulous cocktails, Allan's romp with Barbara, the abuse we gave the randomers that came back with us to the house

Broadway - Ice-skating, Avenue Q, Getting stuck on the subway with John and Marko. Amazing, amazing, amazing

Three Days of Rain - Working with such professionals in a professional venue was mind-blowingly fantastic

RAG Week - Er, now that you mention it, it's all a bit hazy...

Book Soc trip to Bath - 'Slowly, slowly', Moley's, me and Sinead singing every shit nineties song imaginable

My weekend in London - Hannah being pooed on by a pigeon in Camden Market, shopping on Notting Hill, getting the completely wrong train on my way to the airport

The Sham Ball - The Red Bull photos, getting into the bands' room in Whelan's with Marie, meeting David O' Doherty and not knowing who he was

ISDA's in Belfast - Catherine, Lyndsay and I being a tad bold, me and Meg gate-crashing the least fun party that ever there was, the fat dancer doing 'Cell Block Tango'

The Fashion Show - My first (and most likely only) stint as a clotheshorse. Such a happy buzz

My birthday - Carlsberg don't do birthdays, but if they did...

Winning the election - Largely as a result of effective pun usage, Sarah's amazing posters and the fact that my surname precedes Bob's alphabetically

Clubs and Socs Awards - Tears at the dining table, GAA Soc narrowly escaping being pelted by shoes, drinking champers from the Book Soc cup, running to Eimear's car to get the 'girlfriend' CD, THAT photo of Yvonne, attempting to rape Steve. All in a day's work

Adam Ryan - Getting the chance to be part of such an amazing cast, Marko's killer set, the opening night where everyone cracked up during the 'giggly scene'. Such fun

DADA's - The 'unofficial awards' was one of the most thoughtful things I've ever witnessed. Talk about an emotionally draining night...

Jojo's 21st in Cork - Crazy brothers coming out of her ears, A Giddy telling it how it is, sandwiches galore

Living in number 31 - The battle for Broadband, the crazy noise that came from 'the girls' room', Yvette's squeaky bed, the parties, visits to Trinity Plaza and Alan Mc, the egg-throwing skangers. Such fun. If it weren't for Yvette and Sarah, not sure I'd have survived INTRA

Westport - Swimming in the septic pool, climing Croagh, West Brother, Yvonne's admirer, the jumble sale, John's vehicular difficulties

Kara's homecoming - Injecting some badly needed sass into the Emerald Isle all over again

Oxegen - Turning up with a one day pass, no tent, no friends and (unfortunately) no suncream but having one of the best weekends of my life

Boat Trip - Drinks with Marie Clare's parents, the multiple boat smashes, organised fun galore, getting to know Caroline properly, the playground in Lanesboro, animal snap. Finally free from the clutches of the Irish Insurance Industry, the perfect way to relax and unwind

The Freshers' Ball - Pure mayhem

When Ross Came to DCU - Loike, easily one of the hoighloights of the year

The Burlesque Ball - The pre-party in 'The Girls' Room, Sambuca with Celina, meeting Kitty Bang Bang, snog sessions with Dawn and Janet

Finishing the marathon - Barely.

The Clubs and Societies Ball - Shopping for riders with Olivia and Róisín, recruiting Hannah to help shift the 200 roses, dancing like a loon of a goon

Sweatbox Mania - Edith, Britney, The Big Box of Doom, the night we were broken into, the epicness that was Sweatfest '07, Briing it On 3, "Whoopiii", the Hallowe'en